How I roll

Queenscliff, Victoria. Hot day. Scuba-divers gather, to double-dive the HMAS Canberra, now scuttled off the coast outside the Heads.

1. Sabrina: “Um, Nicko, is your wetsuit on back to front?”

Me: “Huh?”

Sabrina: “The knee pads appear to be on the back.”

Awkward silence.

Me: “It’s not my fault. What do I know? … I’m a hockey player.”

2. Sam: “I think the photo will come out really well of Nicko doing a Leonard DiCaprio, arms spread, on the bow of the Canberra.”

(This happened at a depth of about 20 metres)

Marie and Sabrina stare.

Me: Shrug. “I’m a hockey player.”

3. Me to Marie: “That was smart.”

Marie: shrug. “I’m blonde.”

This from a PhD international scientist.

Marie: “Anyway, I didn’t notice you being smarter.”

Me: “I’m a hockey player.”

4. Sabrina: “So, you were in charge of the compass … we surfaced to see how far from the boat we were. You guided us, underwater, by compass, to where it should be, and now we’ve surfaced and it’s hundreds of metres away …”

Me: “It might have moved to pick up other divers. Anyway, there’s something you’ve forgotten  … ” You know the rest.

Fun weekend. Last diving for a while. From here, I concentrate on ice time. And yes, Melbourne is 39 C outside. Fine time to take up ice hockey.

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